It almost never fails. When I whine, I am presented with numerous examples of people who have far greater reason to whine.
The marriage of business acquaintances appears to be in terrible trouble. I can see this from the outside and one of the parties has discussed it in passing, but I’m not close enough to either of them to do anything other than furrow my brow and say I’m sorry. I want words to say. I want to fix it. I don’t want either of them spending Christmas in pain.
Another acquaintance is very sick and has a sick child to boot. I mean flu sick, not like they’re going to die, but everyone is miserable. It’s this baby’s first Christmas. I want them to feel better. I want to take them soup but again, I don’t know them well enough. I don’t even know where they live. I don’t want them to think I’m a psycho stalker. But when he writes about his son, it always reminds me of when Alex was a baby, and I remember how scared I was the first time she got really sick. I don’t want this family to feel scared! I don’t want the Mom and Dad to be sick while the baby is sick. I don’t know why I’m so wrapped around the axle about this, but I’m really worried about them.
Steve has a friend whose father is dying. It looks like a matter of days at this point. This friend and his father are very close. He’s not my friend, but my heart goes out to him. I want to tell him how precious these days will be in the future, when he’s not living through it…I want to let him know that he’ll find comfort in the memories of these days even though they suck bad right now. I don’t want every future Christmas to be tainted by the loss of his dad (and yet, a friend told me today that Christmas is the anniversary of her father’s death and she’s okay with it now).
What a blessing it is to simply be happy. To be as secure as I can be within my family. To enjoy good health (in spite of the headaches…I mean, I’m still healthy, right??). To be able to pray for my friends and not have really serious problems of my own (not that I’m not greedy for YOUR prayers…please don’t think I mean I don’t need your prayers!).
Dear lord, hold each of us and give us a sense of your presence in the middle of the crap we’re all dealing with. Remind us that you came to live with us because you love us. And please ignore me when I whine because my head hurts.