Fell asleep quickly last night, thank goodness, because I was praying about regrets. Most of my regrets are fairly mundane: people I’ve mistreated, words that should have never crossed my lips, homework left undone. But some. . .well, I can’t believe I was that person.
I guess we all experience incidents that cause us to go back and pick the scabs of our bad behavior on occasion. Everytime I say something foolish like “I think this may be the last of the wreckage I left in my wake when I moved from Maryland to Florida” I remember more crap that I will have to deal with at some point.
There is a view of God’s judgment that suggests that we will relive each of our sins from the wronged party’s perspective, that we will experience the pain, anger, embarrassment, or whatever other discomfort we may have caused them. The flip side of this is that we will also experience the joy and wonder we have caused others. I don’t know…I hope he relies more on mercy and grace than judgment. I know we all commit sins that we don’t even know are sins, but I also know that we are capable of judging ourselves extremely harshly. I try to live so that experiencing the good stuff will take much longer than reliving the bad. Even from my own perspective, I don’t want to go back there.
So if I appear a little crabby today, please don’t take it personally. And please remind me that it’s a new morning.